We’re Juice Guys

Putting a documentary’s message to the test.

By Ryan Clancy

A couple of weeks ago I was at Keene State visiting my girlfriend and we found some down time during the day to watch something on Netflix. I don’t even know if it is still called Netflix these days. Anywho, in these situations we tend to argue over a comedy or some “inspiring” film because she bases it totally on title and cover where I go for rating or overview. But, who cares what my personal life is- I’ll get to the point. We usually end up settling on a documentary (for those who care this situation has occurred a lot), and this particular time we picked one from 2010 titled Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. This movie has everything that you’d want a major motion picture to have. A fat Australian, a road trip and mixed drinks! Sorry I just lied. I mean it has those things, but it’s not that swell. I mean I liked it and it is something to watch, but I wasn’t ga-ga over it.

Meet Joe Cross (this is the Australian I mentioned). At the beginning of the movie he is fat, he does this weird juice diet, and then at the end he is skinny! Go figure? Sorry I ruined it btw. Now, ten minutes into the movie, I thought, how can I bare this whole time watching the 60 days this guy does this diet? Then I realized he was almost done with his time ten minutes into the movie, so then I thought, what is he going to do for the next hour and some odd minutes if he is almost done? Well not only is Joe fat but he also has this skin disease and takes all these kinds of meds, but while he does this diet he has to take less and less meds and eventually he is on no medication and there are no outbreaks of whatever disease he has. While on his road trip he stops at a truck stop because truck drivers are fat. Funny thing is he meets a truck driver, and boy this guy is fat, but not only fat, he has the same freakin’ skin disease! Even though Joe says it wasn’t planned it definitely was. I will do a speed sentence to sum this part of the story up. Joe offers his help, guy accepts help a few weeks later after Joe is back in Australia, Joe comes back and makes this guy quit his job and go to a summer place to do this diet, guy does said diet, guy gets skinny and has no more outbreaks. Wow.

So while Joe is going cross-country telling his story to the people he meets he tries to recruit people to do his diet. Which people do and send a little video update of them doing it. Here’s what the diet is: all you eat are fruits and vegetables in the form of juice, so you only actually drink. Joe uses a juicer, but I’m sure you can use a blender. Now he says to try it for ten days first and if you want to continue after, go for it. The first couple of days you are pooping and grumpy, but after that you are healthy. Your body is detoxing those first couple of days, that’s why. So all you do is blend some stuff together and drink it. Also include water to fill your gut so you aren’t hungry. Here is the website. There’s a trailer, recipes, blenders and juicers for sale, peoples feel good stories, and twitter feed! Score!

The guy that made the film, Joe, is a rich mother. That is why he got fat in the first place. I just thought you all should know. But here is the deal. Starting today October 1st, 2011, I Ryan Clancy will try this diet for 10 days. I will be recording some of it for your enjoyment, but honestly it isn’t going to be funny. It will just be me blending juice, we can pretend I’m Jamie Oliver. I will post the videos on My Youtube Channel . I currently have only one video posted from when I was a freshman in high school. It really isn’t anything, so hopefully these videos will help my reputation. Just check this article or any of my social networks for video post.

I would like to leave with this final comment from the movie. After Joe’s diet he starts exercising, he walks. For some reason this made me upset. He was skinny now, but he was still walking. I just wanted the man to fucking put a little quick in his step and at least jog. Well at the end he finally did. That’s all I have to say. Oh, and it has a 64% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.


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