More Actors Should Just Quit ActingPosted: November 15, 2011
A list of actors that I think should stop. Please?
The oh so prestigious E Online reported Sunday that Brad Pitt has a plan to retire from acting. Quite soon. They also went on (and on and on) about how he and Angelina Jolie are planning to have another baby! OMG! Anyway, while I’m sure many think the idea of a great actor quitting their so-called day job is terrible, I feel good about the notion. What about the old saying, quit while you’re ahead? Most famous actors and actresses have been ahead for years. Therefore, I have decided to compile a list of other Hollywood greats that should probably just stop.
1. Angelina Jolie
Why don’t we make it a family affair? Since these two crazy love birds want to literally have a child from every country, I think it would just be best to settle down like a multicultural Brady Bunch. Complete with a wise-cracking maid (or five). There is also the fact that I honestly can’t remember the last good movie she was in. I always thought she was kind of overrated anyway. Not to mention, unlike most other males, I don’t find her attractive. I’m sure she’s a fantastic mom, though, so just focus on that! Just kidding, she’s probably the worst.
2. Adam Sandler
This has nothing to do with Jack and Jill. Obviously that’s a terrible movie. Seriously, I feel like people were surprised. Did anybody see the trailer or read the premise? It has all the makings for a crappy movie! Okay I’m glad I let that out. That said, maybe Sandler and friends are just running out of ideas? His last four movies were Jack and Jill, Zookeeper, Just Go With It, and Grown Ups. Before those he was in Funny People. If he retired after that, we would have been spared four awful films. It’s all a sign that he should either a) stop, or b) only make funny songs about Hanukkah.
3. Mel Gibson
Apparently, his role in that movie with his hand up a beaver puppet the whole time was pretty good. I just don’t think we’re ready to accept him back into our hearts and homes. Also, he’s really just a ticking time bomb, ready to explode and try to become a dictator. We keep letting him make movies, he’s one step closer to that. Think about it.
4. Will Smith
Sure, I love Will. Best rapper alive, right? But in all seriousness, I’ve enjoyed most things this man has done. He hasn’t been in much lately anyway, so would we be upset if he didn’t ever again? Either that or he would make some sort of comeback movie and we would all be disappointed. Besides, Smith has a son to act and a daughter to do music. He never needs to work again.
5. Robert DeDinro/Al Pacino
I put these two together because they are both great actors, but they just don’t need to keep working. Especially in the roles they have been playing. Also, I feel like either one of them is going to die any minute.
6. Nicholas Cage
Because I said so.
I’m sure I could go on for quite some time and this would eventually just turn into a biased list of actors and actresses I dislike that I think should stop making movies. My point is, normal people retire, athletes retire, so why is it so hard for actors to just stop. You have money, let’s let others get a chance.